It's crazy for me to think that I am almost 36 years old and I am still learning things about myself. I am currently enrolled at Walden University, working towards a Doctor of Education degree, specializing in Educational Technology. This semester, I am enrolled in 2 courses, which has been extremely overwhelming on top of my teaching position, being a wife and mom, and all of the other obligations and responsibilities I have. Week before last, I had a melt down - I was overwhelmed with deadlines, but in hindsight, I realize it was actually much more that was overwhelming me. In my 36 years, I would have NEVER considered myself to be a perfectionist. Just come look at the dirt and dust covered floors of my home, or my unorganized desk drawers at work. I am far from perfect and would never claim to be. It wasn't until recently that I realized that I hold unhealthy, unrealistic, perfectionist expectations for my school work. Throughout my coursework for my Master's, I held a 4.0 and rarely scored less than 100% on any of my weekly work. The same can be said for the first few course of my doctoral coursework. I am currently in week 4 of my classes now, and during week 2 I received my grades for my week 1 discussion posts -- 26/30...a "B"! I was infuriated! I could not entertain the idea of having a "B" average for a class. So I spent hours studying over the rubrics and requirements for the current week before submitting my work....adamant that I would score better in my week 2 posts. Week 3 rolls around and I finally receive grades and feedback for all of my hard work in week 2......................I opened my grade portal and tears flooded my eyes....25/30. Worse than the week before! I literally could not control the anger I felt inside and it manifested as a flood of tears and utter meltdown. I immediately emailed the professor and explained my disappointment and demanded further explanation of expectations and his reasoning for my grade.
He will never believe I am saying this, but HE'S RIGHT. It's not about being perfect. It's about giving my all......putting forth effort to do my best in every single assignment. If I bring that effort, I accept the constructive criticisms given in my feedback, and I continually meet the requirements implied -- change will occur. I am improving my skills, and ultimately myself as a whole.
Getting 100s on everything the first go around isn't teaching me anything, nor is it challenging me to make improvements. I must strive for PROGRESS...not PERFECTION. I just received my score today for my work last week. I was SO excited to receive a 28.5/30! Knowing that I have made progress was such a satisfying feeling. Knowing that the professor acknowledged my progress was even better! I can honestly say that I am more proud of this 28.5 than I have ever been with my "perfect scores".....simply because I can say I've made progress and I have grown. ...and I don't HAVE to be perfect to do so! What a wonderful lesson I have learned!
4 Comments
Samantha Wood
3/27/2017 07:25:09 am
Girl! You got this! Don't let every assignment and deadline stress you. You are doing awesome and doing your best will always give what you need in the end. You don't have to have a "Perfect" score, but you are "perfect" in my eyes and in helping me day in and day out! Love teaching with you! Love you friend!
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Jessica Burnette
3/27/2017 07:29:23 am
Thanks, friend! That means SO much! Love you!!!
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Erin Patterson
3/28/2017 03:21:01 pm
Girl, you are my teacher hero. You're always on the ball and help me strive to be more like you. Hugs!! You've got this!
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Jessica Burnette
3/29/2017 06:03:22 am
You are too sweet!!! I'm a mess though -- you don't need to be like me. Lol
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My dream is to create a 21st Century classroom that encourages collaboration, integrates technology, and promotes thinking deeply.
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